Today is hard. This past year has been hard.
It will always be a reminder of the worst day of our life. This day last year (Jan 7, 2015) we learned that our little Griffin didn’t have a heartbeat. Instead of a lively squirming boy on the ultra sound, all we saw was stillness, a forever slumber. It will forever be etched into our minds. No excitement or congratulations, just loud sobs and an “I’m sorry.”
As we walked heads down through a lobby of pregnant women our regular doctor’s appointment turned into a talk of extraction and next steps. It wasn’t C-sections or VBACS, but delivery or a D&C.
Instead of gender reveal surprises, we sat down with our sons and spoke of death and made heartbreaking phone calls.
A hospital bag was packed without baby clothes, and we were taken to a back room in labor and delivery with a “marked” door to wait for him to come- not with joy and anticipation, but with dread and sorrow.
Although this suffering was ours alone, the Lord was there. He comforted us with family and friends who loved on us, who came and prayed for us, who distracted us into the late hours of night and encouraged us. Our Lord is good and faithful.
So, today is hard. But even in this we choose to trust Him and the truth of His word.
Jeremiah 31:13 New International Version (NIV)
Then young women will dance and be glad,
young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.